A lot more people try to focus more on real and authentic experiences, they try to live more in the moment. In times where social media dominates interactions, more and more people go offline when they spend time with their friends. I find myself often lacking images of the best nights spent with my friends. Why? Because you're in the moment, enjoying yourself, being totally relaxed and you just don't think about the gram. In December there's the #bestofnine challenge on Instagram. What I realize every single time, is that my best of nine were actually not my best 9 moments of the year. The moments you spend with your friends, being at ease and catching up, drinking wine and sharing bitterballen, seeing each other's kids or a new house or well,....those moments are never on my #bestofnine.
Ok, so let's discuss friendship during adulthood. Because friendship over, let's say, the age of 25 is a bit more complicated. Remember when you were a kid in school? How making new friends was just so easy, though it may not have felt that way at the time? When you spotted kids playing a game you liked, you just asked them if you could join them. If yes, then new a friendship was born. This has all become a lot more complex once you find yourself being a grown-up with a "proper" job. With busy schedules both professionally and personally, it takes time to invest in lasting relationships, let only create time to invest in new ones. Especially personal relationships, that have not been forged in your twenties (or even earlier) are hard to maintain. Most new people you meet will be through work. You want to consciously couple up, pure platonically, with your former coworker, but you find yourself struggling. Is there enough common ground once you don't work together anymore? The natural conversations you had during coffee breaks are now moments that need to be planned. Where is the distinction between being friendly coworkers and being friends?
The thing is with friendships, old or new, they only work if you put some time and attention into the relationship. So when you do want to take that relationship with the friendly ex-coworker and upgrade it to a proper friendship, make time. The daily coffee breaks may be over, but why not keep the banter over WhatsApp? Or meet up for dinner? It's all about investing some time in each other. Same goes for existing, older friendships. Don't take them for granted. Again, it's not always about how often you see each other, it's more about how in-tune you are with each other's lives. Again, call them, Whatsapp them, send funny gifs or things you think they'll like to watch, read or see. Show your friends that you care and think about them. Maybe you'll see each other 4 times a year, but you're in contact every other week. That's also friendship. Friendship is about sharing, opening up and showing that you care. Having 1 friend or 50 friends, that doesn't matter, it's about making your friendships last and being endgame, platonically, of course.